It's always a bittersweet time when birthdays come. How can it not be? When it's your own, you feel like you're at least ten years younger than you really are. When it's your kids, you feel as if the time has just passed you by like a flash of lightening.
It's been seven years since giving birth to my first children. And I say children, because I did give birth to two little men that early morning. I can't believe it. I know, to some of those reading, seven years is nothing, but for me it's a really long time! Especially when the beginning seemed it would never start.
But it did, and we have been so blessed!
Blessings come with their share of heartache I do have to say, but they are worth it I do believe. I'd like to say I don't have regrets, but I do. About certain things. But I can't change them, so I don't hold on to what I cannot change. I hold onto what I know to be true, and that is, God is good and His mercies are new every morning. And even on the days when I wake up and feel sad, because I have those days too... I choose to be happy and thankful for all that I do have!
Today I celebrate life, tomorrow... tomorrow I look forward to the day when I can see my baby again, when I can hold him in my arms, or at least give him a hug (cuz I don't know what he'll look like in heaven, but I know I'll know him) and let him know that not one day went by, that I didn't think about him, or miss him, or love him... all the while knowing he was perfectly safe and happy with Jesus in heaven. That's what's made it okay really, knowing he's in heaven with Jesus. Because I tell ya, there are lots of days when I am really wishing he was here with me! And so does his little brother.
Isaiah 55:8 "My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways saith the Lord."
He has the bigger plans, the bigger picture, that only HE can see.
I trust in Him. I believe in Him. In all things.
2 comments:
Hi Bec,
What a wonderful way to put your
feelings down. Where did the time
go and what a wonderful boy God
has given you and yes one day we
will all see Jackson.
Have a good week with mom .I got to
spend a few days with my little boy
three days.It was good to see him
and to give him a chance to rest
from a real hetic time, read his
Chronicles and view the video very
touching life a loved man and a
man of God.
Love ya honey,stay well and again
have a good week.
Grammy
Beck,
I know I have my own hurts in from this life but not some of the ones that you do. It's only normal for a Mom to hurt when her baby girl hurts and has to deal with stuff that I never will. But God knows best and while it's say a lot, it's still true. It's what gets all of us through the tough times, along with our faith and trust in HIM.
I love you!
Post a Comment